“Will you marry me?”
After a quick confirmation that I would, my (then) fiance and I sat down on his couch and had to make our first decision as an engaged couple: how the heck do we tell people? It seemed to be a no-win situation. A Kobayashi Maru, if you will (don’t worry, Star Wars references will pop up soon). Phone calls? Emails? Text? Post it on the social medias? While ignoring the joy of the news itself – people (women!) appear to get hurt by how they are told and not what they are told. I’ve heard it all.
“I found out on Facebook. Ugh.”
“I only got a mass text. Ugh.”
“An Email? Ugh.”
“A newspaper ad? Who reads the paper? Ugh.”
Frankly, and this will probably be one of the recurring phrases on this blog, who cares? How information is received shouldn’t minimize the information itself. Good news is transmitted from the sender to the receiver. Yay! The medium shouldn’t override that.
Personally, I’m a fan of the face-to-face. Hypocrite, I know, writing an internet blog and all. Deal with it. So when my fiancé suggested social media, I didn’t dismiss it outright. Don’t get me wrong – I really wanted to. Yet he’s a fan of it for sharing and gathering information from his circle. So I tossed out the idea of a delay. We settled (easily) on a week to share the good news with as many folks as possible. One-on-one and, mostly, face-to-face. Mostly.
We were glad we did.
What seemed to be overwhelming for two introverts (talking to people… one-on-one… about ourselves… over and over?) ended up being a fun and memorable week. Parents got the first call (easy decision). Siblings got texts/calls. Then we branched out. Anyone we saw next, got to be told next. No hierarchy list. No rankings of people. No dealing with texts saying “congradulations” or “congrats” or “totes kewl”. Instead we got hugs and smiles and shrieks. And we got to relieve the proposal story that was exciting to tell. The decision to delay blasting out the news resulted in us creating some very sweet memories with our friends.
This first decision – the first of many to come – went smoothly and ultimately worked out in our favor.
And this is what I hope to bring to you. Stories of facing traditions, expectations, pressure, and guilt – and taking a swing back with geekdom, imagination, sarcasm, and love.