I wrote earlier about taking time to enjoy the current season that you are in. Now, I want to dial that in even closer to enjoy certain moments. If people knew the inner workings of my brain, they might be shocked or appalled (“shappaled”?) at how often I take a brain detour to another subject during a conversation. Just a few days ago, the husband and I went over our monthly budget. Part way through he said, “are you paying attention?” I nodded but also confessed to thinking about building a lightsaber. Heard everything he said and also decided I wanted to build a lightsaber at the same time. The perks of being a woman, I suppose. We can have multiple processes going on at once.
Though, it doesn’t always work. Sometimes my brain zones out, rushes through, or crashes and I end up with no memories of events. When that happens, it is incredibly sad and frustrating (“sastrating”?).
Nowadays I force myself to be in the moment. I soak in all of the details I can. Quiet cold mornings camping at Cooper Lake. Watching my nephew grin as he figures out his math homework and his tiny fist pump. Walking around downtown at night during December and seeing all the decorations and smelling the cool air. I want to remember all of it and rush through none of it.
And that leads me to the start of our wedding ceremony.
My guy and I planned the heck out of our wedding. Spreadsheets for days. Detailed shared OneNote Notebooks for organizing ideas and tasks. Detailed timeline. Detailed job assignments for friends and family. He and I knew every detail for that day. Details! What was going to happen when and by whom and what was to follow. We were so (insanely) detailed that I started to become afraid that I wouldn’t remember anything.
I had walked through the wedding day in my head so many times to ensure we weren’t biffing something. It then occurred to me that I might later only recall my brain walkthrough and not the real deal. Nope. Not having that.
Solution? We inserted a moment of silence before the start of the ceremony. After we walked in, the pastor explained to everyone to take a few moments to reflect on what was about to happen. That two people are about to be joined in marriage forever. To grasp the magnitude of that. And close all of your other silly brain processes to focus on what’s actually happening!!! The last one might have been just in my head. I’m pretty sure.
It was great to stand there next to my very soon-to-be husband, surrounded by family and close friends, and everyone was zeroing in on the same event at the same time. We all took those moments to collect ourselves, refocus, and appreciate what was about to happen. And then, the pastor finally broke the silence with:
“Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us togevah today.”